barabelly:

me analyzing 13 nearly identical selfies to figure out which one to post

funkybug:

what do u have to tell me goat

so-meticulous:

yourlocalgothgirlfriend:

apolkadotnerd:

In honor of me rejecting a boy today, here is my mom turning down a marriage proposal from a Fuckboy in the early 90s on national television. Enjoy.

I’m the dude continuously playing the guitar

an icon

ace-charlie-kelly:

• tell me about mac’s famous mac and cheese
• boys are out tonight huh
• is your cat making TOO MUCH NOISE ALL THE TIME
• you ever been in a storm wally
• i’m getting a high ride, but the shorts aren’t preventing me from doing what i need to do
• i can go lower
• stupid science bitch couldn’t even make i more smarter
• well through god all things are possible, so jot that down
• can i offer you a nice egg in this trying time?
• *dee voice* goddamn! (and variations thereof)
• i’m the trash man
• when i die just throw me in the trash
• everybody’s dying bitch, let’s get you some fruit
• did you eat the STICKERS that were all over it???
• NEWSFLASH, ASSHOLE!!!!
• magnets. just magnets
• ghouls :)
• people’s knees/cover your knees up if you’re gonna be walking around everywhere
• i’ve been poisoned by my constituents
• you see that door marked pirate. you think a pirate lives in there?
• he’s spinning you a web of lies charlie
• it turns out i’m too muscular and i can’t fit through
• did you fuck my mom, santa??
• i can ignore the cheese
• MY MOMMY’S A SKELETON!!!
• i do not LIKE it with the skin, dee. i am not ALLOWED to eat it with the skin. i’m not ALLOWED!!!
• beautiful lips
  
• it’s a gift. i got it for you <3
• i have BIG feelings
  
• i’m gay
• GAY RICH MAC

daveyjames:

I saw a post from @captain-african-america about how Ready Player One has the same plot as Spy Kids 3, and I want to set the record straight. It has no similarities whatsoever.

Ready Player One  is about a popular video game sweeping the globe

created by a very enigmatic man who promises players riches and glory

so a boy with a penchant for gaming

has to overcome CGI obstacles

and team up with other players

to stop a conspiracy to control the world

taejimin:

me: [is slightly inconvenienced] 

me: 

dankqueenofsadnessville:

Awww

onastyamiga:

supportive family

jadore-histoire:

minestuck:

alternate title: young children gawk at flaming homosexuals

I loved these books and LMAO

thebuttkingpost:

tharook:

ayellowbirds:

tredlocity:

skarchomp:

itswalky:

you guys there’s a new nancy cartoonist and she’s amazing

this art style with modern references is the most jarring thing I’ve ever seen

hashtagdion:

I never knew it was common in other countries to get out of your car when you’re stopped by the police.

mjalti:

my life is like Chopped except it’s God up there going “here’s a set of 4 mystery ingredients: some form of illness, zero disposable income, an ambiguous sense of self, 4 day old pasta….. you have 30 minutes to come up with some sort of life, with quality. ice cream machine broke”

ectopusses:

the ghostly wail but its that vine with the screaming ducks

backstroke-for-gays:

a country: *exists*

England:

excalibelle:

me watching monsters inc as a kid: how did it take so long for anyone to figure out that human child laughter not only produced energy like screams, but was more effective, and that children aren’t actually dangerous at all?

me watching monsters inc now: monsters incorporated, a multi-billion dollar corporate giant, stood to make extra profits off a scream shortage because low supply with high demand makes it possible to charge a fortune for a necessary commodity and everyone has no choice but to pay the high prices because they can’t go without electricity. Therefore Monsters Inc, as well as any other major powers that may have existed at the start of the era of using scream energy, fabricated the idea that only screams could generate sustainable energy sources in order to create artificial scarcity, because laugh energy was far easier to obtain and far more efficient, and therefore stood to lower the value of energy due to surplus. They also fabricated the idea that human children were toxic, in order to a) make other monsters too afraid to go near them to do research and possibly discover the secret of laugh energy, and b) to make monsters so afraid of going near them that there is a shortage of scarers, making it harder for rival companies to rise up and create competition. Even in the monster world, capitalism is based on lies, greed and cruelty, and even monster companies have no qualms about using and abusing children to maximize profits.